ERIC GEEN Comedy writer and Author

new book

Life at the Over 60s club is not all it seems. Just because someone might be getting on a bit doesn't mean they should be written off completely.

Dorothy Famous, pensioner and widow, decides to keep a diary. What she records may be mundane, but written in Dorothy's style, it is nothing but. She shares with us frustrations of being old and feeling sidelined by society, and records the hilarious antics of her friends at the Over 60s who refuse to take life lying down.

Kitty, Phillida, George and Freddie, to name but a few of Dorothy's pals sweep us along in a whirlwind of illicit horticultural activities, militant grey power activism and irritating grown-up children. As for Dorothy, before she knows it, she is a high flyer in politics and living up to her surname in the full glare of the local press,

The Over 60s still know hot to have a good time and give the next generation a run for their money! They may look 60, but they still feel 16..



INSIDE THE NOVEL  

On the nudist beach, going topless Blanche said ‘My breasts were fondled so much by boys in my younger days the skin on them is as tough as old leather and it would take more than a drop of sun to make them tender...’

Blanche got it out of Patricia in three minutes flat that she was no longer living with Nigel. And than pretended to pay me a compliment by saying I must feel proud to have sired a daughter who, at 47, still had breasts firm enough to stand without the support of a brassiere. I told her sharply that it was not something I had noticed nor did I see how she could tell. Protruding nipples are, of course, not something I go around noticing.
“Oh! You must not say such things to mother,’ Patricia giggled “Mother likes to live her life according to the guidelines as set down for television. No swearing or mention of bare tits before the watershed of 9.30pm.”
And I write Patricia’s exact words in full as an illustration of how far we have come down the slippery slope. For how someone, such as Patricia, who has enjoyed the benefits of a disciplined but loving upbringing can use such words in public what hope is there for those less fortunate? None I suspect!
“Young women of to-day do not know how lucky they are, do they Dorothy? Blanche continued “When you consider the layers and layers of clothing we had to wear when we were courting; stays,liberty bodices, vests. We had to wear so many layers your boy friends had to start undressing you at eight if your mother said you had to be back at ten, didn't they Dorothy? I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to rush home with my underwear hidden in my handbag because I did not have time to put them back on, can you Dorothy?”
“I certainly can” I exploded “which is never!”
“What not even with Arthur?’
“Arthur was a gentleman on all matters.” I responded sharply. Adding quickly before Blanche could make any disparaging remarks regarding Arthur’s masculinity in front of his daughter, that although he had all the feelings of any healthy young man his age he had the decency to wait until after we were married to keep them under his hat.
There followed a remark from Blanche to the effect that at least he had a protuberance on which to hang his hat which was so obscene I believe even she was ashamed of making, for to cover her embarrassment she burst into a fit of childish giggling making Patricia splutter out some nuts she was eating all over the shop counter and which, as a matter of fact, had yet to be paid for...the nuts that is. The counter is, of course, part of the shop.

Every £20 taken in our Charity Shop provides a roof over the head of a child in the third world for 7 nights. I do not know if there is a second world - if there is they must be sufficiently housed for they get no money from us. Nor do I know what happens to the roof if there is no more money forth coming. It is to be hoped it is not pulled down although in this crazy world it is not beyond the bounds of possibility. After all I am for ever seeing trains going to Leeds half empty when but the the lack of the price of a ticket I could visit my daughter more often.

...’Mr Treason said “Give a man a fish and he will feed his family for a day. Give a man a fishing rod, show him how to fish and he will feed his family for life! That’s the sort of thinking we in the charity business need to cut out!”


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